Tales From the Back of My Mini-Van

That's probably as dirty as it sounds but not the kind of dirty you're thinking. 
The upcoming anniversary of the day the twins made their appearance in this world is coming. We have sent out the princess/superhero invitations. The Barbie dolls and new Star Wars light up shoes have been wrapped. In case you missed it, the Twinkers are identical girls. The other adult in my house isn’t getting any boys. My uterus is closed for business. If he wants someone to share his love of all things nerd with, he has to work with what he’s got. Queen Bee isn’t as receptive to all things nerd as the Twinkers. She would much prefer to be left alone in her room with a book. A child after my own heart.
The last thing on my list was cake. On the way home from the Twinkers’ preschool screening the other day I tried to find out what kind of cake the Twinkers wanted. Here’s how that conversation went:
Me: “Little girls, what kind of cake do you want for your birthday party?”
Both Twinkers at once: “ARIEL!”
Me: “You guys had Ariel cakes for your birthday last year? Are you sure you don’t want something different?”
Both Twinkers at once: “ARIEL!”
Me: “I have stuff to make princess cupcakes. Will that work?”
Twinker A: “Yes.”
Twinker B: “I don’t know.”
Me: “I’ll make princess cupcakes. What flavor cupcakes do you want?”
Both Twinkers at once: “ARIEL!”
Me: “I get that. What flavor? Chocolate? Vanilla? Both?”
Twinker B: “Pink Ariel cupcakes.”
Twinker A: “Green Ariel cupcakes.”
Me: “Ariel isn’t a flavor.”
Queen Bee from way in the back: “Maybe Ariel means they want fish flavored. Doesn’t Ariel like to eat fish.”
Me: ” Ariel doesn’t eat fish. She is a fish.”
Queen Bee: “She’s a mermaid. I don’t think that’s the same thing as a fish. What does she eat if she doesn’t eat fish?”
Me: “I don’t know. Seaweed.”
Queen Bee: “So make seaweed flavored cupcakes.”
Meanwhile the Twinkers are chanting “Ariel! Ariel! Ariel!”
Me: “I’m making vanilla cupcakes.”
Queen Bee: “I guess if you want to be boring like that.”
I’m strange in that I kind of like making things from scratch. If I had a cow, I would milk it and make my own butter for baking. It use to irritate the life out of my late grandma that I didn’t have the patience to sew a straight line on a sewing machine but I am pretty confident in my ability to patiently churn butter. I guess I’m complicated like that.
Unfortunately this past Sunday, my step-dad’s (I don’t really like that term but for now I’m using it) mother died suddenly. Between keeping my mother sane and various services a scratch cake and cupcakes is out the window. That’s fine. Sometimes life requires rearranging your priorities. You’re suppose to make an effort to find the best in every situation even one as bleak and tragic as death. Well here’s my lighthearted attempt to make the best of this situation and I think my dear departed grandma (both of them actually) would be impressed with my results.
I am constantly seeing pins on Pinterest about how to make your box cake mix taste like a bakery cake. I’ve never actually tried this to see if it works. As I mentioned, I’m pretty partial to scratch making cakes. I don’t have time for scratch cake this week but I’m not a huge fan of boxed cake mixes so I decided to have a go at tweaking the box mix.
The boxed cake mix I used in this instance required the following things:
1 box of mix (obviously)
1 1/4 cups of water
1/3 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs
The tweaked version I decided to use made these changes
1 box of mix
1 cup melted butter
1 cup of milk (I used 2% because it’s what I had)
4 eggs
I mixed everything together like you normally would. I added food coloring to my mix because the Twinkers ended up deciding they wanted pink and purple cupcakes.
I preheated the oven to 350 degrees but then dropped it to 325 once I put the cupcakes in. I baked them for 25 minutes.
Taste results are pending as I don’t plan on decorating them until tomorrow. I still have to keep them nice until Saturday.

 We can't hear mom when she's standing right in front of us but you better believe we can hear the mixer start running from in the basement with the tv running.
They are kind of helpful.
 Eat the batter. Life's too short. 



I don’t think these look like pink and purple cupcakes. Personally I think the purple ones resemble concrete but I had Twinker approval. That’s all that matters. I’m confident neither batch will taste like concrete.
 Stay tuned to see how badly I botch the decorating and attempt a Batman cake!
Originally posted on April 6, 2016

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