Vacation Days and Coffee Creamer

I’m blankly staring at the words “vacation days”. What do these words mean? I have heard rumors of places you can go where there are clear skies, shimmering waters, and adult beverages with fancy umbrellas. Apparently these are the kinds of places one can go when they are using these “vacation days”. Vacation days mean nothing of the sort around here. For starters, I am a redhead. Places with clear skies and shimmering waters are my kryptonite. There is not amount of clothing or sunscreen that can save me from the wrath of the sun.  And while sunburn isn’t really that terrible once you get use to it, I hear skin cancer is a bitch.

So exactly what is a vacation day around here? It involves all three of the little blonde people being under the same roof for more than two awake hours at a time and me running around in stripes, carrying a whistle. At this point a vacation would involve me being able to finish an entire cup of coffee while it is still hot.

Today is a vacation day. My children were all awake at the same time for all of two minutes before they were at each other’s throats. Queen Bee took the spoon Twinker B wanted to use at breakfast. When you mess with one Twinker, you mess with both of them. Once I managed to settle Spoongate, Twinker A had a fit because Queen Bee had more cereal in her bowl than the Twinkers. I am telling you, nobody has a more overdeveloped sense of fairness than a twin. They can spot an injustice from a mile away. The Supreme Court can’t fix three-quarters of the Twinkers’ problems. I realize some would argue the Supreme Court can’t fix three-quarters of America’s problems but that is an entirely different babbling blog post.

There was a time when I looked forward to vacation days. Once upon a time, my Queen Bee started kindergarten. I sat outside with her on her first day of school waiting with her for the bus. I did my best to keep my composure. As soon as those bus door closed and I turned to head back to my house, I lost it. Big, fat pathetic mom tears everywhere. As I sobbed over the lost of my child’s babyhood, I prayed for the week to fly by so I could have my little girl home for the weekend. Next thing I know, I’m standing in my kitchen by myself. The Twinkers sill have another half an hour before they are going to be awake. Is this what free time is? Do I really have time to read a book with no interruptions? Do I really have time to drink my coffee while it’s still HOT?!?! Higher power where has this been all my life?!?! Queen Bee going to school, quickly became one of the greatest things to ever happen.

Fast forward a year. Queen Bee is now in first grade and the other adult in my house has finally mastered the art of the pony tail. I no longer look forward to hot coffee and books in the morning. Instead, I have elected to use the extra half hour in the morning for sleep. Priorities. Now I do what I can to get my coffee hot while the twins are eating breakfast.

Today after the battlefield that was breakfast, I banished my children to the basement and attempted to drink some hot coffee. That’s when I realized my entire day was doomed.

Before my house was overrun with little blonde people, I worked at a coffee shop. During my time at the coffee shop, I became a coffee snob. The only kind of coffee worth drinking was black. No overly sweet syrups. No whip cream. No caramel drizzle. Coffee. Black. Then I became pregnant with my twins and my body decided to take the opportunity to throw 28 years of existence out the window. Suddenly black coffee gave me horribly heartburn. Up until that point, I had never once had heartburn. After being pregnant with the twins there are days when I eat Tums like my grandpa ate Life Savers mints. For reasons I can’t understand, now it seems the only way I can drink any coffee is if I pour just a little bit of creamer in it first. I still hate the overly sweet coffee creamers they sell by the gallon at the grocery store and half and half just doesn’t quite do it for me. Fortunately for me, some brilliant woman invented Pinterest. I have no idea if that’s true but I’m assuming a woman came up with such a wonderful waste of my time. It was Pinterest that saved my coffee. Pinterest taught me how to make my own coffee creamer! I will never swear at my computer again! I can leave that to the other adult in my house since his job description more or less requires he swears at computers for money.

Please note, I love to give credit where credit is due. I realize I am not smart enough to come up with these ideas on my own. I would love to give the original blog post credit for my coffee creamer recipe but it appears the link to the blog no longer exists. Since I can’t link you back to the original, I will just share with you how I do things. As the other adult in my house will tell you, my way is the right way.

This is all you need for to make your own creamer. You don’t have to use the coffee syrup. Usually I normally use pure vanilla extract but I am saving what I have left of that for my Easter baking. I don’t use a ton of coffee syrup. A tablespoon is all I use. Adjust it to your own taste. I found this coffee syrup at Aldi. You can find it pretty much anywhere. If you have a favorite flavor from your favorite coffee shop, you can ask where they get there. They might even have some available for purchase.

I have been re-using this bottle for who knows how long. The original blog post I read suggested using a Mason jar for storage. I tried that once. It was messy. I didn’t like it. I just dump everything into this bottle. Usually that consists of one-part condensed milk to one-part milk. If you would like things a little creamier, use more condensed milk or whole milk. If you want a little thinner creamer, use more milk (skim works best).  Add as much flavor as you want. Shake and put it back in the fridge. If you need to keep an expiration date on things, use the expiration date coming soonest from your ingredients. More than likely that will be the milk. I don’t add the expiration date to mine because I go through it fast enough not to worry.

2017 Edit: I have a new container for my creamer. I found this jar while wandering around IKEA. I kind of love IKEA. A lot. Any store that has a place for me to leave my kids while I shop, shoots straight to the top of my list. I feel like Goldilocks with this jar. It's not too big. It's not too small. It's just right! 

Enjoy! This is part of my desk is the cleanest part of my house. I paid a whole 50 cents for this mug at Goodwill! And Batman? Well, we love Batman in this house. In the near future there will be a Batman/Disney Princess themed birthday party in this house. I heard something about a new movie featuring Batman being released this weekend. Easter dinner has been spontaneously moved to my house so I won’t be seeing it.

2017 Edit: I have seen the movie featuring Batman. It's alright. Ben Affleck was certainly much better than I thought he would be. Henry Cavill is still a beautiful specimen of man. Most importantly, Wonder Woman. There will be a Wonder Woman movie! I'm less excited for Wonder Woman after seeing Suicide Squad but still excited. 

Blog originally posted: March 25, 2016